Tests, Tests, and More Tests!

So last week I had appointments Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday was an appointment with my surgeon to see how everything was healing and to take out the drain if ready. She took it out even though it was not ready. I was so super happy at that point. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! Thursday and Friday I was in so much pain because of the build up of fluid. Oh well, lesson learned!

On to Thursday. I had a MUGA scan. This is to make sure that my heart is strong enough to do the chemo treatments. They had a horrible time getting an IV in and had to stick me 7 times, having 4 different people try to get it to work, so fun! They injected me with radioactive materials and took a ton of pictures. After that test I could not be around young kids and prego's for 12 hours. WONDERFUL! That would have been nice to know before hand! So my parents took the kids for the night and got them all to school the next day. THEY ARE AMAZING!!!!

On to Friday now. Pain, pain, and more pain! The fluid build up was so bad that the hydrocodone was not even helping. I sent a message to Laura asking if this was normal and she said NO! I had a PET scan and genetics testing scheduled for this day. I tried to call my surgeons office but they do not open till 10, must be nice!!! So I went to my tests and told them how much pain I was in and they had a nurse come and look at me right away. She called my surgeon and they told me to come in after all of my tests were done. So I had a PET scan where they injected me with more radioactive  stuff and then had me drink a HUGE container of barium after. It was a fasting for 12 hours before so that barium tasted like a melted milk shake to my very hungry stomach at 11 am:-) They took pictures after that for about 30 minutes. This test is to see if the cancer has spread to any other parts of my body.

Than on to genetic testing. This test is to see if I have the gene that will cause recurrences in not only breast cancer but ovarian cancer as well.  This is also an important test because if I test positive to this gene anyone that is blood related to me may also carry this gene, including men.  Pretty much if this test comes back positive they will recommend a double mastectomy and down the line getting my ovaries and fallopian tubes taken out. It takes 10-14 days to get these results back.

 Then off to my surgeons office to have them check out this fluid buildup. At this point there was no infection and they ultra sounded it and drained it. GROSS! They did put me on antibiotics and got me more pain killers.

They are putting my surgery that I was suppose to have on Thursday to get my port installed and to remove the other tissue off until they get the results of these tests. They are also putting off my start of chemo because I have to be recovered from my surgeries before they start. Once again, the waiting game!

So now for today. I was scheduled for my Chemo Class. This class is to give me information as to what treatments I am getting, and what to expect while having them. This was a day I was DREADING! Chemo is my worst fear right now! I heard everything I knew I was going to hear but did not want to hear it. I went through the whole class without crying so I am giving myself a huge pat on the back for that. While there I had the nurse and my oncologist look at the fluid that had built up over the weekend. It was pretty bad! I def have an infection and lots more fluid build up. It is crazy painful and I am worried about lymphodimia. My surgeon is getting back to me and hopefully will see me tomorrow to figure this all out. 

At the end of the day, my MUGA scan came out that I have a super healthy heart!!!! I have to end on a positive note:-)

GREAT NEWS!!!

So it has been a really exhausting couple of days. After having the surgery I thought I would be back on my feet much quicker than I did. My parents had the kids from Thurs, when I had the surgery, until Monday early afternoon. It was really nice to relax and concentrate on getting myself healed from the surgery without having to worry about the needs of 3 little people. I missed them like crazy but was VERY worried about getting them back when I was still suppose to take it easy and not lift more than 5lbs. Tell that to my very stubborn 2 year old!

I am getting back to normalish in the last few days. It is still exhausting getting the kids needs met along with trying to take it easy.

Today I had an appointment with my surgeon to have a check up as well as to get the results of  my lumpectomy and anxillary lymph node dissection. THEY TOOK OUT MY NASTY DRAIN! I will not go into details onto that, gross stuff,  but it was the best thing EVER! They ended up taking out 11 lymph nodes. That is actually a very small amount for this type of surgery. Out of those 11 only ONE was cancerous!!!! That is my amazing news! We caught this so early that it did not travel that far. Because of the fact that only 1 node was cancerous I am still at a stage 2 cancer. Now to the OK news. I mentioned that they had a more complicated surgery because the pathologist found something in my breast that did not look 100% OK. So they decided to take out what they saw to test it. So the results came back that they found Ductal Insitu which is the beginning of cancer cells but they are constricted to the duct.  So that means that they want to take out all of the tissue around that spot. They scheduled that for Next thurs the 31st when I am going to get my port installed for my chemo. Tomorrow I have a MUGA scan (I have no idea what that means other than it is done in the Nuclear Medicine unit) and on Friday I am going for a PET scan (they inject radioactive stuff into me and take a ton of scans) as well as genetic testing. If the genetic testing comes back positive they will prob recommend a double mastectomy as well as taking my ovaries out. We will cross that bridge if we get there!

So at the end of the day I am feeling good! Scared out of my mind about chemo, but at the moment I am doing ok!

The Surgery and visit to the Oncologist

The Surgery 

Heading to the hospital, starving, and would give ANYTHING for a glass of water I was so super nervous. I was definitely looking forward to having this cancer out of me but nervous about the surgery and the recovery. After we arrived at the hospital and got us right in to pre op. They gave me some pretty good meds and I was out like a light. Bry was in the waiting room reading his book from cover to cover. They told us that my surgery was suppose to take about an hour and a half.

So Bry sitting in the waiting room was getting quite nervous when it took over 3 hours for them to come out and give him an update. I guess they found something in there that did not look right so they had to remove that as well and made the surgery much longer than anticipated. Because of that they had to admit me for the night. We were not planning on this and were not prepared to stay the night. We made the best of it. I was starving and was so relieved when Andrea and Sam came over with a big fat turkey sub and some amazing peanut butter cookies. Yep, I was not having any problem with nausea, all I wanted was a gallon of water and my sub! I did end up getting a roommate for the night. They still let Bry stay with me. It was the worst night EVER!!!!! I was exhausted but pumped full of steroids from the surgery so I could not settle down. My IV alarm went off 6 times during the night. I had to get vitals checked every 4 hours, and my roommate snored so loud I could hear her through my ear plugs! Somehow Bry slept much better than I did:-) We got all of our discharge information and got out of there in time to get to our Oncologist appointment.

Oncologist Appointment 

Now here is where I start to go a bit fuzzy. I am overtired and hopped up on hydrocodon not a very good combo when going in to get the news we got. Pretty much I heard, you need a ton of tests done, chemo starts in 2 weeks, and you will lose your hair within the next month in a half. After than I pretty much shut down. It was a very emotional afternoon for me. I pretty much knew this was going to be the news we were going to get but now we have it all scheduled so it is very real. I am feeling better and accepting it a lot better today now that I have had a cup of coffee and a good nights sleep. I am going to hand the computer off to Bryan so that he can explain the Oncologist visit in a bit more detail:

The news the Oncologist gave us was only new in 2 respects (both good news):

1. Her H2N came back negative, which means that the cancer is less aggressive than if it was positive
2. The cancer tested positive for Estrogen receptors but negative for Progesterone receptors. This means that she's a good candidate for hormonal therapy after the chemo and radiation... meaning she has to take a pill for the next 5-10 years. However, it greatly reduces the probability of a recurrence and her prognosis becomes much, much better.

She also explained that we're at least in a Stage 2 situation. The results of the tests that are coming back this week and next will determine whether or not she's a Stage 3 (and I don't even want to think about the possibility of Stage 4). We signed up for more tests, such as the PET test to determine the extent of the growth, an EKG to get a baseline heart performance before chemo, blood-work, a genetic test, a chemo class, and many other appointments.

They gave us the timeline and recommended regimen for chemo. She will be undergoing 8 treatments of A/C Taxol every 2 weeks starting on February 5th. By my projection, that puts us at the end of chemo on May 14, where we'll start the radiation.

The Path Ahead of Us: A Letter From Me to You About Courage

Throughout our lives, there are times when it is abundantly clear we're at a crossroad. We simply look back at the path we've taken and intuitively understand that the path ahead is completely different than the one we're about to leave.

And some of those times, it looks bleak. It only takes a moment to understand that every feeling, every choice, every hurdle we've faced up until now, only existed to prepare us for this moment. The hills ahead are steeper, the roads are slicker, and the stakes are higher. But worst of all, most of it is shadowy and foreign. As we squint into the darkness ahead, the only real truth is that we'll never be the same again. It shakes us to our very core.

It's times like these that test the mettle of who we really are. We learn our true character; our internal worth. It's times like these that make cowards of the strong and heroes of the meek. Some fold like a tent. Others rise and emerge not only victorious, but humbled, and with a newly found respect for the path and the journey. A few never emerge at all.

But at some point in this journey, those that stand triumphant at the end realize that it's not about the conquest at all. They learn that our character is not defined by the height of the hills we climb, or the canyons we traverse. Instead, it's about walking the path with reverence and hope, all the while acknowledging, but not succumbing, to the existence of our fear.

As we now stand at our crossroads, remember this... the already defeated memorize the altitude of their highest peaks. The truly courageous look forward to the view at the top and smelling the flowers along the way.

Surgery

So today is the day that we have been waiting for. I have my lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed during surgery today. I do know that this is the easy part of this whole process but I am still quite nervous. My parents have the kidos so Bryan and I will have a quiet long weekend to recover. We are trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids. They will be attending school even though my parents have to drive from Saratoga to bring them and pick them up. They are the BEST!!!! Either Bryan or I will update the blog this evening after we get home from my surgery.

FINALLY GOOD NEWS!

Heading to the hospital this morning for this ultrasound I was sick to my stomach and so nervous that I was shaking. If the test had come back and I had to do another biopsy I may not have been a candidate for the lumpectomy. I would have then had to get a mastectomy. I was fine with either but the healing time is much longer and a more difficult surgery than the lumpectomy. I also did not want to put off the surgery. I want these suckers out of my body ASAP! They have overstayed their welcome:-) As I said in my earlier post, my sister in law Jessica came with me to the appointment. Boy was I glad she was there. I was shaking and almost ready to lose my breakfast but she helped distract me and held my hand while they were doing the scan. She got quite the peep show this morning to start off the day! Long story short, the scan came back with nothing else besides the lump and the lymph nodes and I was declared stage 2 cancer because it has spread to my lymph nodes!!!! This was the first good news I have had in over 3 weeks! As Andrea texted me :-):-):-) is our happy dance. The MRI that I had was done at the wrong time of the month hormonally wise so that is what came up on the scan that they were concerned about. We are still on track for my surgery on Thursday and to see the oncologist on Friday. I can not express how much of a relief this morning was! Thank you so much Jessica for coming with me!

This may change ALOT

This weekend was a little tough because Bry was out of town for the National Guard. I was kept busy with my sister in laws and the kids. Alisa took Jamyson for the weekend and that was such an amazing help. I was able to spend some great quality time with Bryan Paul and Mady. Yesterday was Madys helper day at school so we packed up to go and have a fun filled morning with 13 4 year olds. I knew I was going to be getting the phone call with the results from the the biopsy and MRI sometime during the day. I had my phone on me the entire morning waiting for the call. I did finally get the call but thankfully school was done and I was just cleaning up the classroom. The secretary at my surgons office called and told me that another spot came up on the MRI. I also heard back from the surgeon and found out that the biopsy of the lymph node can back positive for cancer as well. We figured that was going to happen. Today I am back at the hospital for another ultrasound and maybe a biopsy if this other spot does not look right. If I have to have this biopsy my surgery will be put off until next week. I will update after my appointment. My sister in law Jess is on her way to be with me during this appointment.

Telling the Kids

This has been another week of doctors appointments. Wednesday I had an ultrasound and biopsy of a lymph node. Thursday I had an MRI to see if the cancer has spread. Today I had my pre-op physical. We are still waiting for the results of the biopsy and MRI. It does not seem fair to make people wait over holidays and weekends when you are dealing with these types of tests. As of right now my surgery for the lumpectomy is going to be on this Thursday the 17th and I will be meeting with my oncologist on Friday the 18th. Today we told the kids. I have been dreading this since we found out the news. We had started to have some behavior problems and we were thinking it was from so much change and emotions that we have been dealing with. We were very straightforward with them telling them that there was something in Mommy's body that should not be there and the doctors are working very hard to get it out. We explained that Mommy is going to be going to alot of doctor appointments and that I am going to be very tired. They said that they would be very good helpers to make it easier. Bryan Paul told Mady during dinner that Mommy is going to die. I am not sure how he came up with that and I was pretty upset that he thought that. Mady said she was going to fix me with her doctors kit she got for Christmas. I am thinking we are going to have lots of questions in the next couple of days. Today was also another m ilestone. I bought my first hats. I was waiting to do this until after I saw the oncologist. Mentally I was not ready for this step. Sam convinced me that I should get them because they look good, were on sale, and I can use them even if I don't lose my hair. Buying these hats and trying them on actually made me feel better. I can totally rock these hats:-)

More tests, more waiting

So this morning started out with me waking up super early, who can sleep in when you wake up with so many thoughts in your head???? I going out the door with enough time to stop by Starbucks on my way to see my radiologist. I typed my destination into my GPS on my phone and off I went. I got my much needed coffee and started to head to St. Peters listening to my GPS. After having the GPS take me in circles 3 times in a residential neighborhood I started to just go in the direction I thought I needed to go and by some stretch of the imagination got there directly on time. I can not stand being late to doctors appts! I did only get a few sips of coffee in and totally forgot to take my "happy" meds before I went, so not a good combo.

This appointment was for them to check to see if any of my lymph nodes did not look right. From earlier scans they had seen one that was not 100% so they did this check. They told me that if anything looked off they were going to do a biopsy on the worst looking node. Going in my hopeful attitude was they are going to do this scan, everything is going to look just peachy and off I go to relieve Bryan by taking the kids so he could go back to work. Well, that did not happen. I did have to have a biopsy. When they told me I took it pretty well considering lack of coffee:-) My last biopsy was not that bad so I was ready for this one. Holy macaroni did this one hurt:-( Then off to a mammogram of this spot after the biopsy, let's just say that was quite painful as well.

Now it is over and we should hear the results in the next few days as to if anything has spread to my lymph nodes. Today I have an MRI scan that is going to also check to see if this has spread and to see if there is anything to worry about on the other side. I will probly not hear back about the MRI scan until early next week. So pretty much we are doing the waiting game again.

I am just trying to keep busy. The kids do a very wonderful job of that. It is hard not to "do to much" when I have a 2 year old and 2 other very cuddly kidos. Last night we had plans to go out to dinner to celebrate Sam and Dan Haldeman's birthdays. My babysitter canceled at the last minute. Nonna to the rescue and we had an amazing time!!!! She came and watched the kids so that we could have a much needed night out. She then took my 2 littlest kidos to stay at her house for the night so that I didn't have to run around like a crazy person trying to get Bryan Paul on the bus, the other 2 dropped off and then try to make it to my appt in time. This worked out much better. Thank God for Nonna!

I had mentioned that if you have any questions that you can email Bryan, his email address is bryan.p.reed@gmail.com. Also Samantha Haldeman is also available for any questions. Her email is: shaldeman@nycap.rr.com. Please feel free to contact them for any reason.

I have added a spot at the top right of the blog if you would like to email subscribe to the blog. I am new to this and it is taking me some time to get the hang of how it all works.

The News

So if you have not already heard, I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I decided to start this blog to keep everyone as up to date as possible. 

The Beginning 

So while preparing for dinner on Christmas eve I was going through my bi monthly "my boobs are killing me" stage. That is when I felt a lump that I had never felt before. I turned sheet white and had a serious panic moment. Bryan walked in the kitchen and immediately asked me what was wrong. I told him what I found and he assured me it was probably nothing and he would check it later. So on with our Christmas Eve celebrating. I put it out of my mind until that night when Bry said I was not imagining things and he felt it too. He right away did some research and we thought it was just a bump that would come and go or some other bump but suggested we get it checked out. At this point I texted my best friend, Sam freaking out and she calmed me down saying it was probably nothing as well. We got through Christmas day and the kids had a fabulous day of opening presents and enjoying dinner with Nonna and Grandpa Paul. The next morning I could not get it out of my head and Bry said if it is really bothering me to call the doctor to see if they could get me in to have it checked. I called my primary, I explained what was going on and they said they would call me back. Not to happy with that answer and knowing that they are not good at getting me in quickly when needed I called my OB. As always they were AMAZING and got me in within a few hours. Bry came with me and my Dad watched the kids.

So we headed to my OBs office. While on our way we got rear ended in Bryan's new truck. This day is not going so well. Because we were a bit late because of the accident we ended waiting for almost 1.5 hours because another individual was having an emergency. No worries I totally understand but gosh I felt like I was going to lose my lunch I was so nervous. We did end up seeing the dr and she said, yep it is something I want you to get an ultrasound and a mammogram. OK, still freaking out. I called quite a few places and the soonest they could get me in was JANUARY 12th!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me! So I made the appt thinking how in Gods name am I going to be able to wait this long to figure out what is going on. After talking to my Mom she suggested I go to the place that she goes to in Saratoga. I called them up and they got me an appt for New Years Eve, THANK GOD!!!!! So I only had to wait a few days to get in. Both Bry, Sam, my parents and my inlaws were convinced and worked very hard to convince me that it was nothing. All of the research we did for someone my age, healthy, with no history of breast cancer in their family said that 80%-90% it is either benign or a lump that would come and go during different times. I got to thinking that it was going to be OK and this was just a precautionary set of tests. 

 

So we got through to New Years Eve. My amazing sister-in-law Jane took my kids so that Bry could come with me to these tests with no questions asked. She had a day totally to herself but sacrificed a few hours to watch the kids for Bryan and I. Thanks Jane!!!!!! Off to Saratoga we go to get the mammogram and ultrasound. At this appointment they were going to be able to tell me if it is just a cyst or fatty tissue or if it is something that needed a biopsy. Well, it was not a cyst or fatty tissue. They said I needed a biopsy. OK total freak out again! They said they could get me in on Thurs in Glens Falls. Great, more waiting! They called my OB's office and they called around to see if anyone else in the area could get me in sooner. Nope! So we headed back and picked up the kids. While driving home I got a call asking how long it would take me to get to Glens Falls because they could do the biopsy in an hour. So I dropped Bry and the kids off at home and hauled ass to Glens Falls. They did the biopsy, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I did not feel a thing because they used some good numbing meds. While there they told me that my mass was 1.7cm big but was not up against the chest wall. That really did not tell me much information because I decided to stay off of the internet and let Bry and Sam do the research for me and let me know what I need to know. They said that I will probably not get the results of the test until Friday at the earliest because of the holiday. GREAT more waiting!  

At this point I am freaking out like crazy! I called and informed my family and let them know the up to date information. My sister-in-law, Alisa suggested that I contact Dave's sister who battled breast cancer within the last couple of years. Laura has been an invaluable source of information and support. She has been able to explain things to me that I did not know anything about and give me information on what is to be coming up. She said I can call her night or day! I am so lucky to have someone with some much knowledge and has SURVIVED!!!!!

Along comes Thursday and I am having horrible anxiety attacks where I can barely breath. I was not sleeping and was constantly crying. I called my OB to ask for something to help me get through the next couple of days. She prescribed me Xanax and oh boy did that help! She told me that she was going to call by the end of the day on Thurs to check and see if they have gotten any of the results from the biopsy. Well at 3:30pm on Thursday, January 3rd I found out that my tumor tested positive for cancer. I FREAKED!!!!! I called Bryan hysterical and he came right home. I called Sam and she could barely understand what I was saying because I was freaking out. None of us could believe it. 

My OB set me up with a surgeon for the next day. This appointment was when we were going to find out the specifics of the biopsy and get a plan for the next steps. That afternoon Sam took Bryan Paul to her parents house to celebrate her and Dan's birthdays. My parents took Mady and Jamyson for the night. So off to this appointment we go. For some reason, maybe the Xanax:-), I was nervous but calmer. I listened to everything she said and only teared up once. I was hoping to go in to the appointment and they were going to say, "we are cutting this sucker out and on with life you will go". Well, that most definitely did not happen:-( I found out that I have Invasive Ductile Carcinoma Breast Cancer that measures 1.7cm. It is a grade 3 tumor which means that it is one of the faster growing tumors. We decided on that over the mastectomy. Because of the size I qualified to get a lumpectomy. They will not figure out what stage of cancer I have until after I have the lumpectomy. She pretty much told me that I will have the lumpectomy and then meet with the oncologist to make a plan for Chemotherapy and Radiation.

So we are to the present. The surgeon set me up with an ultrasound and maybe another biopsy if the cancer has spread to any of my lymph nodes. I will be going to do that tomorrow, Wed. On Thursday I have an MRI and that will also tell them if the cancer has spread. All of these tests are so that they know exactly what is going on in there before the surgery. I also have an appointment with my primary doctor on Friday to get a medical pre-op clearance to have this surgery. Pretty much I am going to be in the doctors offices every day for the next month. As of right now they tentatively scheduled my lumpectomy for the 17th or 18th depending on the results of the tests from the next 2 days. I will try and keep this blog up to date so that you get the information. 

This is some heavy stuff! There is a cure for Breast Cancer! I am going to make it through this. It is going to be a shitty couple of months but hopefully by summer time I will be cancer free. We have a very positive attitude going in to this. We also have such an amazing support system of friends and family. We would not be able to get through this without all of you. If you have any questions Bryan can answer them for you. Also, Samantha Haldeman knows just as much as Bry and I and can answer any questions as well. She has also set up a meal schedule for us. THANK YOU SO MUCH! This is the best help!